sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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