Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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