She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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