Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize