I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
