Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
