it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
