how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
