i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
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