Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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