We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
