Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
