Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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