oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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