im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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