Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
