i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
