Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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