Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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