I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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