I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
