I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
