When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My dick has a subreddit
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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