she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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