p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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