if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
