so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
