i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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