I'm going to rape someone's good day.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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