Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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