he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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