Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
