Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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