This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
