She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
