my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
