Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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