anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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