i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I look better un-naked...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
