I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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