the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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