Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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