May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
