I just cut my nipple shaving
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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