I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
