Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Is it penis luge time yet?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
