This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
