And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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