I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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