Me too!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Never joke about your clitoris.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
